11:29am

went running for a bit. before i went i did 75 lunges&150 crunches. divisible by 3 cause i'm loony. now i'm sitting here with lemon water&6 crackers. i'm not going to eat the crackers. i just grabbed a handful so my mother would see me with food. i think we should all move to one place where we can get thinner in peace. wouldn't that be nice? oh well.

also, haven't found anything inside myself to write back to the random emails i got while i was away. "Stop crying about little things that dont matter. Grow up and get over it." & "I bet you don't post your intake and weight because you're huge. Only strong people should try to inspire others. Nobody likes your whiny blog." umm what am i supposed to say to that? i don't want to just say nothing........oh boy. for those of you who are sticking with me through this shit, thanks. it means alot.

thinspo:

or:

smaller is better. oh how i wish i could be under 5'8". stay strong, ladies.

xoxo

zette

9:22am

damn. thanks for all the hate mail, kiddos. my email inbox is pretty full. well i'm home from camp. after 5 days with 4 fat roommates i'm right where i need to be. i'm focusing on arms lately....

thinspo:

or:

arms, arms, arms. some girls have lovely arms. others...not so much. my arms aren't huge but they're not as small as i'd like them to be. why? cause i'm a fucking cow who can't quit eating.i hope you guys are doing better than i am. hang in there, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. i'll get to the emails sometime today. not sure what to say though. honestly didn't expect this many people to come against me all at once. but happy saturday to you anyway.

5:20pm

shit. i'm a fucking mess. no cheers for anxiety attacks&gaining&lack of energy/sleep. boofuckinghoo.

thinspo:

or:

oh boy. who let the hulk in the picture?? yikes. unfortunately, i prolly look more like her than the other girls right now. don't take up that much space. ever. please.

xoxo

zette

p.s. leaving for camp sunday night, i'll be back friday or saturday. i'll try to post again before i leave but if not, i'll miss you guys.

2:51pm

fuck. why do i keep telling people that i'll get better? to shut them up, i suppose. why does my stomach have to growl so loudly? &why do these scars take so so so long to fade? yeah, i don't have the answers either. the first picture isn't the best, i'm mostly jealous of her boobs. or lack thereof. damn my c-cups.

thinspo:

or:

little lady vs. a hulk. alright. carry on. i'm going to purge the juice i just drank.

xoxo

zette

p.s. why do we carry on this way? that's simple. it's cause we tried average&it left a bitter taste in our mouths. being thin is sweet, like sugar free gum.

11:16pm

i should be in bed. warning i might talk about food so apologies in advance for the temptation. i really do need to go to bed. i'll be in an awful mood if i don't get any sleep. i'm sorry to have disappeared again for a bit. i don't mean to. once in a while i even start a new post. i type in the time&then i sit here with nothing to say. right now i'm sitting here with a bag of flamin' hot lime cheetos to my right. i'm not going to touch them. i'll have fuze for breakfast&powerade for lunch if i can get away with it. fingers crossed. also going swimming tomorrow. i needa work on my tan. i have ugly scars all over. anyhow, i owe you guys some skinny pitchas.

thinspo:

or:

the girl on the left is okayish. but the girl on the right needs to say no to whatever her next meal is. i will not be average. i will not be average. i will not be average. i'm watching a biography on marykate&ashley olsen. skinnies. i love them. i leave for camp on the 6th. fuckfuckfuck. i'm going to be the only tub of lard there. hang in there, little ladies. it'll be worth it.

xoxo

zette

3:57pm

oh geez. my friend called me this morning so i rolled out of bed&walked to the park to meet her. we walked all the way to her neighborhood&then i walked home. all in all maybe 4-5 miles? boo for walking in the hot sun. surprise didn't like it either. so...popsicle=45cals. besides that i've had water. dinner will be water&tic tacs. go me.

thinspo:

or:

okay so that's alot of comparing to do. but i like comparisons. thin is relative to many people. thin is not being smaller. it's being the smallest. it's not seeing your collarbones. it's being able to count all your ribs. i'll get there. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

8:29pm

600 calories today. failurefailurefailure. i suck at life.

thinspo:

or:

on the left we have average. on the right we have thin. wow, really tough choice. hang in there, darling. tomorrow will be here soon enough&it'll be a new day, no matter how much this one sucked ass.

xoxo

zette