12:12pm

so this cold feeling is here to stay, i think. my fingers move slowly&my brain lags behind, too. i've got my curtains open so the sun is warming my room. i'm about to jump in the shower. i take long showers. being cold makes me stiff&achy&a long hot shower is amazing. also, got my period for the first time in a while. cramps have already left. they come the day i get it&the day it leaves. kind of like a warning. so it works out fine. what now....oh, duh.

thinspo:

or:

little black dresses are for little girls. pale whales with chin(s)-length haircuts need something with arm&cankle coverage. just saying. i'm off to shower. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. winter is going to kill me. tips on staying warm?

3:27pm

costco. i love costco. for those in the dark, it's a store where you can buy things in bulk. i don't shop there much but i love being in there. i feel so small. since i don't feel small very often, it's nice when i do. anybody else get that? thanks for the input on how you count cals. i cannot stress enough the importance of keeping a food journal. it helps me tons. if you have trouble writing in every day, it helps me to write the date&my weight first thing in the morning. that way i can look at yesterday&see if what i did helped me to lose or if it made me gain. just saying. no rambling today.

thinspo:

or:

what have i said about matching outfits? only allow it if you look better in it. not even crazy zebra print can hide her size. the spaghetti straps do nothing for her flabby arms. bad choice. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. what's your favorite kind of tea? my current favorite is a tie between the peppermint or apple cider tea i have. they're both pretty swell.

9:30am

good morning, ladies. i'm having my favoritest breakfast: rice chex cereal with vanilla coconut milk: 150 cals. okay, so discussion....how do you add up your calories? for me, i take the ingredients of things (since most of my food is homemade) &add the cals that way. i write down all the exercises i do but i don't write down what i burned. if i purge, i take away 50cals. so my total is simply what i ate. buuuut some of you have your intake&then subtract what you burned in your workout, giving you a smaller total for the day.

i suppose everyone does it different. most of you aren't as mean to yourselves as i am to myself. which you get kudos for. although i've decided that i might like my cheekbones. they're crazy high cause of the native american genes on my mother's side. so that means i like two things about myself. yes, i'm still okay with my left eye. i'm not sure if this post is making sense or not. oh well.

thanks for all the insight about why i might be cold. the calorie thing makes sense. but i'm not willing to fix it so i suppose i should quit complaining about it. another thing i should quit whining about? my feet. they hurt. all the time. but it's only because i take my trusty razorblade&cut them open when i get frustrated. &when i wake up from a nightmare. my nightmares scare me like none other. so i cut, just to get out of my head. it works. don't hate. though sometimes i wish i hadn't started 5 years ago. i'd say how old i was but i don't put my age on here, though i know at least two of you know anyway&the rest of you could prolly guess. i obviously don't share my weight, either. that's my number one rule, just before 'never finish an entire serving of anything' & 'never go back for seconds'. just three rules&lots of guidelines. does anyone else have a never again list? all i have on my list are pie&donuts. i like to give myself realistic guidelines. i'm not sure if i should or not. but i do. so that's that. stubborn little thing, i am. whoa, rambling like none other. sorry. i've just missed posting. anyway, our computer just had spyware&i took it off so now we're good. cheers for that.

thinspo will be different today cause i found pictures of this girl&couldn't stop myself.

pretty self-explanatory. i wish my arms were that small.

i want to be able to wear tiny clothes like that someday. someone get that blonde some sleeves though.

arms from left to right: thin, average, thin, chubby. the mexican man behind them is not included in the comparison but he gets creeper points.

oh, also she is crazy tall. which works for her. cause she's skinny. it doesn't work for me. cause i'm not skinny yet. but i'm getting there. points for trying? maybe. stay strong today, lovelies. lets be the skinniest out of all our friends.

xoxo

zette

p.s. so so so happy to be back. off to comment now. &thanks for the emails, kids.

10:38am

couldn't post cause i was at my sister's. &my mother may have given our home computer a virus. i'll keep you ladies posted. sorry for the absence. gahhh i have so much to tell you but i've no time right now. thinspo is a must, though. warm thinspo, cause i am freeeeeezing.

thinspo:

or:

i think we've talked before about fatties having great hair. either they have amazing hair or awful hair. either they work their only asset or they don't try at all. either way seems kind of a lame way to live though, don't you think? maybe it's silly but i dream of the day i won't have to cover myself with big long-sleeved shirts&baggy pants. stay strong today, lovelies. enjoy the sunshine if you have it there.

xoxo

zette

p.s. random question, anybody else cold when they shouldn't be? i'm not underweight but i'm freezing anyways. i used to sleep in short&a tank top. now it's sweat pants&a hoodie. always always always cold.

10:58pm

almost bedtime, but i owe you guys an update. well i've lost two pounds. &i'll be seeing my friend for sure monday afternoon, but maybe sunday evening as well. i'm incredibly nervous. she's one of three people i'm really close to. &all three of those people are in different states: oregon, kentucky, &colorado. anyway, i'm just going to work on maintaining this weight. my sister will be out of town. i'm prepared. i bought quite a bit of target brand sparkling flavored water. zero calories. i love them. so i'll survive on those plus lots of exercise to include swimming in her super cold pool. hopefully that'll wake up what's left of my muscles. any encouragement would be greatly appreciated. i'm really sorry i haven't been commenting. i have to clean my sister's house tomorrow but after that i'm going to set some extra time aside to comment&reply to more emails. until then, hold my apologies.

reverseee:

ignore the boy. the girl on the left is lovely. the one on the right is...well, okay.

the girl in the yellow is not smaller than i am, but she is better proportioned..tan girl needs help. stripes ought to be on what not to wear. the other one..well she's just incredibly average.

pink leggins got it goin' on. well, her weight anyway. the outfits i'm sure were for some 80's occasion. so, stay strong, lovelies. i really do i miss you all tremendously.

xoxo

zette

p.s. got pulled over for the very first time today. friggin state trooper. luckily it was just cause the car my mother&i are using has illegal blackout plastic over the brake lights. still. boo.

12:10am

forgot to mention to you guys that i'm still breathing. so....i am.

thinspo:

or:

251 is perfect. i'm about the opposite skin color (porcelain doll ish) but dang, she has amazing legs. i feel like i've used one of those photos before..hm...oops. oh well. stay strong today, lovelies (unless it's bedtime where you are like it is for me. in that case sweetest dreams to you.)

xoxo

zette

10:22am

zette is going to scream. cause people keep telling her she's a bad person. that picture post was a bad move. bad bad bad. that she should stop complaining about being fat when she's 'so not'. the support doesn't cancel it out anymore&it's starting to hurt. zette is hoping she chokes or drowns or breaks into pieces cause zette is done.

thinspo:

or:

zette isn't a fan of the haircut. but she'd rather be thin&wear a hat than fat as a walrus&still have ponytail ability. if you'll excuse her, zette is going back to bed. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. deleted the post so fuck off, abigail.