4:00pm

i know i'm supposed to babysit but i don't remember what time. either 4 or 5 &my sister won't answer her phone. so, crappuccino. oh well.

got a new ana buddy. she's lovely. i can always use a couple more though. yeah, that's a hint. my email is in the last post if you're interested.

also forgot to write a 2 page essay. i'll do it when i get home tonight. shouldn't be hard, it's not actually due until friday, we just have to have 2 pages for mr. b to skim over tomorrow.

in other news, a certain somebody asked me out....again. i'll date when i'm skinny. err, ready**. hah.

i'm pretty positive i act my age so why do so many of you think i'm 20something? you guys crack me up.

so where am i at right now? i lost 8 pounds. then i gained 3. then i lost 4. now i'm stuck. stuckstuckstuck=fuckfuckfucked. gahh, frustrating as hell.

whatevz. you guys are great&i'm glad i have all of you. stay strong, think thin, etc. you can be whatever you want to be. hang in there, lovelies. you're not alone.

xoxo

zette

10:13pm

82 on my economics test. fuckkk. not even remotely close to being good enough.

i really need an ana buddy. somebody said they couldn't email me from my profile so i'll put one of my 5 email addresses at the bottom of the post. i'm not stupid, nothing is linked to this address i used it to vote for my friend's band. you can email me your number so we can text, or just email. whatever floats your boat.

thinspo for your dreams&mine:

  

or:

tan fat looks better than pale fat but it still looks disgusting.

let's make them all jealous. stay strong, lovelies.

&email me. iliveparadigm@yahoo.com

xoxo

zette

9:22am

good morning, kids. i've decided that i need a scale. since it would be an odd birthday gift, i'll prolly use my birthday money to get it instead. kapeesh? cool. also, 43 followers? damn. well hello to you all. hah i love it.

okay so since my computer got fixed it's like having a new one. i haven't even downloaded itunes yet. i'll add it to my to-do list for today:

run 3 miles

download itunes

study for&do economics test.

that's all i have to get done. oh&then i'll go to church tonight. i'm not sure the leaders appreciate me there. i do cuss alot. &D didn't get into drugs until we started hanging out. &besides, church is for christians&that i definitely am not. so why do i go? cause my buddies will be there&it's better than staying at home with my sister who calls me fat (jakingly) a gazillion times a day. that's getting old.

ugh. whatthefuckever. not eating today. i don't want to. some days i do, this is not one of those days.

i need thinspo. do you?

or:

 

see? nicole richie got a fat friend. only problem is, i'm the fat friend right now. shit.

 well, think thin today. good luck to you all, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

6:07pm

home alone. i love it. just me&my guitar&a whole lot of water. i'm hoping the rain will stop soon so i can skate. my board was literally dusty. hah.

anyways, thinspo:

 

or:

 

hmm...the only one not wearing leggings is the only one who could make them look good.

xoxo

zette

1:28pm

somebody told me to title my blogs something besides the time. i don't want to. kapeesh?

sorry i disappeared. my computer went kaput on me&it just got fixed. mostly. gotta copy some stuff. for now i just get on at the library.

anyhow, gained weight again cause i've been eating like a normal person lately. hoping to fix that soon but it'll be difficult as i'm getting zero alone time. boo for having to eat.

except tuesday&wednesday&today. my buddy overdosed monday&died the next day. i've been kinda messed up about it. we weren't super close but it's still scary, you know?

been trying not to cut. it's not working well. asj;klkjdfpkf'dsjkuhcfss. frustrated.

enough venting. thanks for all the support&i have been getting the emails, i'll reply asap.stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

1:08pm

home from school. one of the only ones in my class who has done any of the homework. stopped at target on the way home&got a cute skirt. it's a small. &when i took my hoodie off my mom said i look skinny. yes, skinny. my mom is 100lbs more than i am but still, she was the first to tell me i should lose weight so it made me smile to hear her say i look skinny. does that mean i'm happy with my weight now&that it's time to eat healthy&be normal? fuck no. it only encouraged me to keep going. yeauhhh.

the half hot pocket i ate came right back up, now it's just me&diet coke.

thanks for the emails, kids. they mean alot. stay strong lovelies. you can do this. still looking for an ana buddy. my old one still hasn't texted me. boooo. lemme know if you're interested.

xoxo

zette

7:39am

sat at starbucks for 5 hours yesterday doing my economics homework. &i only got 77 out of 90 questions done. glad it's not due until next week.

my weight is the same. shocker. ugh, this is frustrating. i know i set my goal weight at 115 but it's really my looks, not my weight, that matters. what do i want to look like? i'm not sure. just smaller than i am right now.

quick thinspo to kick off my day&yours:

the girls aren't even that big, but blondie just looks so much better.

xoxo

zette