9:28am

good morning. or afternoon/evening/night wherever you are. thanks for the sweet comments. you ladies make me smile. got up about an hour ago&washed dishes. my mother cleaned my room while i was gone. i hate that she does that. i can't get her to stop. every time i'm out of town she takes it upon herself to rearrange/throw away my things as she sees fit. i don't know where anything is. the OCD side of me is kicking in. my clothes are out of order in the closet&extra shower gel is next to extra lotion. not where is belongs. anyways, going swimming later&then organizing my stuff. i wish our house wasn't such a piece of shit. it was built in the 50's so it's not very pretty. i want to paint it. the brick is painted a beige/yellow&i want to paint it white or light light light blue. summer project? maybe. wow i'm rambling. sorry about that. let's get to the important stuff.

thinspo:

or:

let's compared disciplined lilo with whatthefuckever girls around her. not a hard choice. also, i wish people would quit hating on thin people. they might go easier on them if they knew how hard they worked for it. then again jealousy is rarely a pretty thing. i really want my arms to be smaller...i've taken to wearing my favorite sweater lately. it's grey, from old navy, a size xxl. cheers for baggy clothes. stay strong, ladies. you don't need lunch. go for a walk instead.

xoxo

zette

11:24pm

okay random&useless post but this picture made me smile. cause for once i'm actually the smaller one. hell yeah.

sweet dreams, darlings. not sure what you guys are up to but it's bedtime here for sure. boo for being sober.

xoxo

zette
p.s. yes it's me&yes i know i said no more pics until i reach my goal weight but i changed my mind. kapeesh?

11:29am

went running for a bit. before i went i did 75 lunges&150 crunches. divisible by 3 cause i'm loony. now i'm sitting here with lemon water&6 crackers. i'm not going to eat the crackers. i just grabbed a handful so my mother would see me with food. i think we should all move to one place where we can get thinner in peace. wouldn't that be nice? oh well.

also, haven't found anything inside myself to write back to the random emails i got while i was away. "Stop crying about little things that dont matter. Grow up and get over it." & "I bet you don't post your intake and weight because you're huge. Only strong people should try to inspire others. Nobody likes your whiny blog." umm what am i supposed to say to that? i don't want to just say nothing........oh boy. for those of you who are sticking with me through this shit, thanks. it means alot.

thinspo:

or:

smaller is better. oh how i wish i could be under 5'8". stay strong, ladies.

xoxo

zette

9:22am

damn. thanks for all the hate mail, kiddos. my email inbox is pretty full. well i'm home from camp. after 5 days with 4 fat roommates i'm right where i need to be. i'm focusing on arms lately....

thinspo:

or:

arms, arms, arms. some girls have lovely arms. others...not so much. my arms aren't huge but they're not as small as i'd like them to be. why? cause i'm a fucking cow who can't quit eating.i hope you guys are doing better than i am. hang in there, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. i'll get to the emails sometime today. not sure what to say though. honestly didn't expect this many people to come against me all at once. but happy saturday to you anyway.

5:20pm

shit. i'm a fucking mess. no cheers for anxiety attacks&gaining&lack of energy/sleep. boofuckinghoo.

thinspo:

or:

oh boy. who let the hulk in the picture?? yikes. unfortunately, i prolly look more like her than the other girls right now. don't take up that much space. ever. please.

xoxo

zette

p.s. leaving for camp sunday night, i'll be back friday or saturday. i'll try to post again before i leave but if not, i'll miss you guys.

2:51pm

fuck. why do i keep telling people that i'll get better? to shut them up, i suppose. why does my stomach have to growl so loudly? &why do these scars take so so so long to fade? yeah, i don't have the answers either. the first picture isn't the best, i'm mostly jealous of her boobs. or lack thereof. damn my c-cups.

thinspo:

or:

little lady vs. a hulk. alright. carry on. i'm going to purge the juice i just drank.

xoxo

zette

p.s. why do we carry on this way? that's simple. it's cause we tried average&it left a bitter taste in our mouths. being thin is sweet, like sugar free gum.

11:16pm

i should be in bed. warning i might talk about food so apologies in advance for the temptation. i really do need to go to bed. i'll be in an awful mood if i don't get any sleep. i'm sorry to have disappeared again for a bit. i don't mean to. once in a while i even start a new post. i type in the time&then i sit here with nothing to say. right now i'm sitting here with a bag of flamin' hot lime cheetos to my right. i'm not going to touch them. i'll have fuze for breakfast&powerade for lunch if i can get away with it. fingers crossed. also going swimming tomorrow. i needa work on my tan. i have ugly scars all over. anyhow, i owe you guys some skinny pitchas.

thinspo:

or:

the girl on the left is okayish. but the girl on the right needs to say no to whatever her next meal is. i will not be average. i will not be average. i will not be average. i'm watching a biography on marykate&ashley olsen. skinnies. i love them. i leave for camp on the 6th. fuckfuckfuck. i'm going to be the only tub of lard there. hang in there, little ladies. it'll be worth it.

xoxo

zette