4:10pm

oh boy sorry about the delay. the past few days have been..well.... i'm not sure how to put this so you can see accurately..stresshomeworkschoolorthodontistpainyellingfightsstressrunninghurtingsleepingstresscrying, etc. but i've kept this shit to myself. pity party throwers got to me so i shut up a bit. i just woke up from a nap. i seem to sleep much better when the sun is up. too bad my schedule won't work around that.

okay so i got my braces tightened this morning. &some other stuff. i'm not sure exactly what he did, but when he started he told another orthodontist "this is gonna be fun". fun for HIM, he means. not fun for the sleep girl in the chair. anyway, came home&complained so my mother would not make me eat anything. but suddenly her maternal instincts burst forth&she takes me to the store to get some soft food. my mother isn't very helpful. at all. she's the sort of person who expects you to hold doors open for them. (i say this because she expects that). i like helping people. i really do. but with outside stuff. not inside stuff. if you tell me you're having a rough time, i'll try to say something appropriate&then drop it. i'm not good at being nice. not to people in teh real world, anyway. you guys are good to me so i try to return it. but if you met me in person, you'd walk away muttering "what a bitch.." that's just how i am.

calorie wise, i've been doing alright. usually 400 or under. but it's wearing me out&i have to do better in school. just having a hard time balancing weight loss&...well, everything else. like right now i'm trying to finish this outline&do a little economics homework. but i can't concentrate. my stomach hurts&i'm afraid if i sit somewhere comfortable i'll fall asleep&wake up just in time to put pants on before school. yes, i could prolly sleep that long. it seems my rambling days are far from over. sorry about that.

thinspo:

or:

again, there is a big difference between thin&average. big thighs are average. i don't want to be average. do you??

xoxo

zette