9:19am

been a little out of it. i suppose that could be partly cause i'm sick. i've kept my calories fairly low but i haven't felt up to much exercise (except 200-250 crunches) so i haven't lost any weight. i'm tempted to eat normally until i kick this sickness but i'd rather be achy for a few extra days than gain anything, i think. cause i feel huge. is this how obese people feel all the time? like they won't fit somewhere? like they should wear loose black all the time to hide everything? i hate this. no, i don't have the energy to hate much of anything right now. but i definitely don't like it. the last time i cried it was cause i'm fat. i don't want to be this big anymore. it's disgusting. &i'm extremely jealous of you shorties. i've never measured but i'm told i'm 5'8" &that just adds to feeling big. so to you little 5'5"s &under, just know that i'm jealous.

rambling quite alot lately. since i screwed up so bad on the last economics class i'm not sure if i'll pass the class. 100's on the homework but it's not enough to forgive my quiz&test scores. fuck. my mother will murder me. in other news, maybe partying this weekend. it'd be fun to spend the day wandering around downtown talking to crazy strangers. maybe go to jimmy's little voodoo shop&say hello. then party my ass off the way i used to. maybe that would get me out of this weird mindset i'm stuck in. i'm rambling again, so i'll quit now.

thinspo:

or:

good move on avoiding a string bikini, fatty. it would have been lost for eternity in your rolls. okay little ladies, i'm off to comment on your blogs. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette