so i was doing crunches today&i was almost to 100 when i watched my stomach&realized my ribs seem to be disappearing again. fuck fuck fuck. i ran to the bathroom&had my toothbrush in the back of my throat before i realized i hadn't eaten anything in the past 3 hours or so. i felt silly. so i drank&purged a glass of water just in case. nothing came up. just water. but i didn't feel empty. i just had a bite of chicken&21 sugar snap peas for dinner. about 50 calories. 50 little calories that i will not keep inside me while i sleep. so i'm off to purge before it settles.
wait, i remember what i wanted to say now. some of you seem to be really discouraged. don't be so fucking hard on yourself. i have a secret. we all eat. it's why we're still breathing. just remember that we all screw up. you're not the only one who takes "days off" from ana so you can think straight. keep your chin up&only continue if it's what you want. this isn't a contest. we're all backing each other. kapeesh? okay pep talk over. i've missed you guys.
xoxo
zette
ive been there with the purging. sometimes i feel so freaking full even if i havent eaten yet and i just get the urge to purge. im trying to get out of the habit though because ever since ive started purging i get really bad chest pains and heart burn.
ReplyDeletei LOVED the pep talk lol. its funny because something so obvious as "we all take breaks" doesnt really occur to most of us till someone strong comes out and says it. i mean i guess its easy to feel pressured when half of us are struggling and the other half are kicking ass but as long as we stay positive (and have you to kick us in gear when we get all mopey) i know we can do this.
stay strong
meg
good pont about the fact that we do all eat, made me feel better.
ReplyDeleteyou can do 100 crunches. wow i think i cant manage even 30 in a row
Gracile
Really motivational post, you're exactly right. But please take your own advice too
ReplyDeleteviolet x
I missed you! I can't believe you can do 100 crunches in a row. I have to do sets. Good for you, lady.
ReplyDeleteAnd secret? I may have a "low weight", but my ribs don't stick out either. My mid section is a stick of buttery flesh. Boo ya. It sucks being 5'2". At least you're gifted with height to distribute whatever weight you have.
"we all eat" - such a true fact, though i wish it wasn't true much of the time...no point being skinny if we're not here though, eh? stay strong xo
ReplyDeleteawesome blog! stay strong love!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely adore your posts. You make me feel sooo much fucking better.
ReplyDelete<3