zombie zette returns. i might go back to bed&get up when my mother leaves for work. right now she's in the kitchen making pancakes for me. like a normal mother. no no no, i do not want a normal mother. a normal mother loves her children instead of ignoring them. what if she hugs me? what would i do? i'd be myself, of course. i'd give her a "what the hell?" look&wriggle away. i don't like hugs, i don't like cuddles. i do not like them here or there, i do not like them anywhere.
i suppose it's because i like to think of myself as a separate creature from the rest of the world. as if i live on the world¬ in it. but then someone who misses me spots me somewhere&what do i get? a hug. it brings me back to reality. sometimes they ask the usual how-are-you's but sometimes they wrap their arms around me&feel my ribs between their fingers&the conversation take a different turn, &i get all the are-you-okay's.
i like being alone. &empty. physically, but mentally sometimes, too. depression or something like it is sneaking in. i know, cause i don't want to do anything. i was going to purge last night&afterward i set my face on the side of the toilet&just stared. i wish everybody else would move in slow motion with me, so i could keep up. i feel like i'm drowning. &yet peaceful in a way. ho-hum.
also, i really want to get tiny fast. a friend of mine will be here in october. my dramatic friend, if you can remember her. the trippy thing is that she can be kind of harsh about all my odd eating. but i love her to death anyways. i'm excited to see her, but i'm terribly worried that she will be expecting me to be smaller than i am. that she'll say something like "oh, i was worried for nothing" without thinking. i have to be small. i have 2 months. i can do this...if i can stop being zombie zette. fuckfuckfuck. i'm going back to sleep.
thinspo:
or:
just a little innocent comparison. before you wear a dress that accentuates a certain part of you, make sure that part will look good with attention drawn to it. sorry for making it a blonde again.
xoxo
zette
p.s. i just passed my mother's room. she's eating pancakes. this is her second breakfast. disgusting.
Hope non zombie zette returns soon! haha
ReplyDeleteWhere do you get all of your comparison pics? they crack me up... at least this blond is ok looking lol... but seriously... I 100% agree with you...
Haha... 2 breakfasts... sounds like m damn sister
me and my mom are the same way. a good day is if i can avoid her all 24 hours. oh joy.
ReplyDeletein 2 months your gonna look fabulous and you can tell your friend to "shove it!" lol
I loveeee you, Zette! Smile for me. <3
ReplyDelete<.<
ReplyDelete>.>
<.<
*Hugs the air around you*
:p
oh gah i HATE hugs!
ReplyDeleteim just short enough that my face ends up right in the arm pit area when they pull me in.i mean, if i wanted to smell like pit sweat i would go for a run , i dont need fatties rubbing their body juices on me everytime we see each other in the store.
and gross look how fat the blondes cankles are!
...her thighs look like two christmas hams shoved on top of cowboy boots .lol.
stay strong, your going to look fabulous by october!
meg
You're gonna be fabulous by October, even if you don't think so!
ReplyDeleteGosh, second breakfast. My little brother has two lunches and dinners. Personally, I don't see how anyone could eat that much.
Oh, and thank you for all of the comments on my blog. They make me :).
GEEEEEEEZ what's with you and blooonnndesss my dear!!!!! LOOOOVE YOU SOO MUCH! stayyy strong!! <3
ReplyDelete<3 the crackhead