if you need motivation, go to this S's blog.
as soon as i published yesterday's post i wanted to delete it. i hate the way i look in those pictures. all i see is fat. everywhere. layers hiding my ribs, clinging to my back, &adding so many inches to my legs. gross. i do look tan though, i guess. spent half my summer lying by the pool reading in a bikini. i looked fat then, too. i'm feeling sick again today. when i eat, i feel sick. when i don't eat, i feel sick. i had some echinacea tea this morning, cause people around me are getting sick&i don't want to get sick. i'm having a tough enough time keeping myself healthy just cause of what i'm doing. my friend will be here on the 23rd. she's going to think i'm fat. when i say that, i think of that girl who was on dr. phil. but she wasn't fat at all. i am. i'm disgusting. i feel huge. &cold. so..i'm an iceberg then? so i'm good for..nothing. for sinking ships. i'm scenery. something rather than someone. useless useless useless. i don't want to do this anymore. i'm not sad. i'm not happy. just incredibly bothered by what i've become. the funny part? when people say i have an eating disorder, i laugh it off. cause i could stop if i wanted to. right? i mean i think i could. but why would i want to? no, i wouldn't. could but wouldn't. not when i look this bad. thanks for the sweet comments anyway, though.
thinspo:
or:
thin vs. average. anyone can be average. the brunette prolly isn't told she's fat. cause to average people, she is just like them. it takes work to be thin. i'm willing do put in the work. are you? good. shabam. lets do this. stay strong today, lovelies.
xoxo
zette
p.s. anyone else in love with emergen-c packets?
Heyo! Melancholy can be a bitch. Stay positive though. And you are my favorite person to hear from on here so just know that you're appreciated. I sound like a total creeper...so can I also have a lock of your hair...
ReplyDeleteOkay just kidding haha! You're wonderful and don't you forget it!!!
-Scarlett
My mom tries to force those emergen-c packets down my throat, so I have an aversion to them even though I should take them.
ReplyDeleteI love the first two thinspo pictures.
I always wonder how people see me - thin or average? I see fat, so I don't know what I ACTUALLY look like.
ugh your NOT useless!! at all we all love you!
ReplyDeleteand you totally made my day! i almost screamed when i saw you mentioned my blog! i love you girl your the best. i hope you feel better soon, your in my thoughts.
lots of love S xoxo
stay strong and keep your self safe
I really like the "thin vs. average" picture. But just so you know, I do not think the pictures you posted of yourself are very different from the skinny girls you post for thinspo.
ReplyDeleteI know you can't see it, and you probably don't believe me (I wouldn't either, at the size I'm at!), but I actually do have very high standards for what is "skinny." And you, my dear, are.
Part of the whole eating disorder thing is that you never really think you're skinny enough. I know I'm the same way, but . . . anyway, you're beautiful.
I understand feeling sick when you do or don't eat. I guess that just comes with the territory. If we ate normally all the time, it wouldn't make us sick. But to eat a bit after starving for who-knows-how-long is bound to hurt the stomach.
The echinacea tea was a good idea; perhaps more herbal teas, like peppermint or ginger, could help with your hunger pains.
<3 Try to find a hint of happiness somewhere today.
Geeze, bitch! Gimmie your flat tummy any day! :O
ReplyDeleteI'm completely in love with vitaquench. It's my way of getting vitamin C when I'm too cared of orange juice XD
Have a good weekend, ok?
We love you Zette. Useless or not :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, love. And I do think you look great on those pictures. But of course, this is something we can be told a thousand times, if we don't believe it ourself, it's useless.
ReplyDeleteSo try to find some motivation to go on. And don't let it all get too blurry, find something to be excited about.
I know you can do it.
Wish you all the best,
Merely
ZETTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you are *fantastic*. I love your blog- i was reading it last night and i couldn't stop!!!! your thinspo is amazing, and you're so brave and inspiring!!
ReplyDeleteEven though I know you won't believe me, I honestly think you're at least as thin and beautiful as the skinny girl in that last picture <3 In fact, although it's kinda hard to tell, I think you probably have a flatter stomach...
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl, you're gonna shine.
ReplyDeleteYour beautiful and have an amazing body! I would kill for your body, stop beating yourself up so much! Your not useless!
ReplyDeleteI know everything looks dull right now but try to focus on the positives?
Stay well- try and avoid the sickies! xxx
Zetteeeeee. You're lovely! I wish that you could see what we all see. I think you should try to look after yourself. You are BEAUTIFUL!
ReplyDelete<3
Wow. Just seen your pictures and your stomach is so tiny! You have an amazing body :). Thank you for your comment on my post as well, you are so amazing inside and out! x
ReplyDeleteYou're not useless! You inspire so many people just by being you! I would kill to be like that.
ReplyDeleteemergen-c <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteand you are NOT useless!!