9:48am

i'm tired of maintaining. but i know my body&i know that in a week or so, if i stay at these calories, i will lose. i just can't screw it up. i won't. i know i've put down a goal weight, but in my head every day, my goal is simply to take up less space. i want to shrink away from the things that hurt me&even from the okay things, the things i don't deserve. seems perfectly fair to me. but people are noticing i don't eat. not important people. just people from the retreat. seemed my intake was open commentary there. "i haven't seen you eat yet today." "have you even eaten this weekend?" "haha it took you like five minutes to finish one corn chip." "stop with the crunches already. you're making me feel fat." "dude you have like alien ribs, they're trying to escape." etc. but i did well. so fuck them.

or:

compare her right leg to the leg of whatever creature is on the left. yikes. yes, i know, her left leg is squished wider. but that happens to everyone's legs. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. spinny is doing fine. i set her up in the dog crate with food, water, litterbox, bed.

p.p.s. to the email people, i'm still trying to figure out why my email is sending out links to you that go nowhere. scanned my computer for viruses&changed all my passwords&cleaned out my contacts. it should stop now.