9:30am

sorry i didn't post yesterday. just busy.

living thinspo in my economics class. the girl is tiiiiny. i don't even know her name but she sits in front of me to the left&takes away my appetite.

gross binge yesterday, my sister took me to cici's. took a break&purged in the middle of it but still, lots of pushups.

the plan is still to eat as little as i can get away with. weighed myself this morning&i feel disgusting. i'm telling myself i've just gained muscle, but weight is weight. ughh.

i'll post thinspo later. i'm gonna go running.

xoxo

zette

3:39pm

orthodontist appointment this morning. ouchh. &he decided to talk about my dad. double ouch.

whatever. so, what to do when your mom gets wendy's burger&fries cause she 'knows your hungry'? if we'd eaten there, i just would have purged. but we took it to go. so most of the fries went out the window, &i didn't touch the burger at all. i threw it away with the rest of the trash when we got home. go me.

anyhow, we have crazy awesome weather here today, so i'm taking the dogs to the park. then coming back here to play guitar on the back porch. my neighbors must love me. especially when i burst into song. don't you wish you lived in my neighborhood? haha

sooo, that's all. home alone until this evening, plenty of time to exercise. only going to the kitchen to refill my water bottle.

on a side note, i don't understand why people still call me so much. especially just to talk. there are a select few i like talking on the phone with. dramatic friend, army friend, & of course, V. i love my sister very much. she's pretty awesome.

oh, thinspo for you lovely things:

 or:

 don't be the fatty of the group. our legs will be small&our ribs will show themselves. stay strong, lovelies. &thanks again for the comments&emails. 36 followers? that's crazyyy. you guys are great.

xoxo

zette

4:43pm

i 'didn't have time for breakfast' before i went to school. then i came home&hung out with V until we left to run some errands. then we went to chipotle. i felt disgusting. she left to have coffee with her mother-in-law, so i've done 100 pushups in her absence.

shitty day. but school went well. my teachers seem really cool. english teacher is a former drill sargeant (big black guy) but he's nice. my economics teacher is a smartass&he's pretty funny.

anyhow, thinspo:

or:

sucks to be the fat friend.

xoxo

zette

9:46pm

going to bed. fuck fuck fuck my life. but yay for school in the morning.

thinspo for your dreams:

or:

xoxo

zette

2:50pm

so far today i had 1/4 cup organic corn flakes&a banana, lunch was an orange. i should be able to get away with not eating for the rest of the day. 400 calorie day isn't bad.

okay, the thinspo i promised:

or eww:

don't do it. don't you dare. stay strong, think thin.

xoxo

zette

8:33am

getting up earlier in preparation for starting school. here's what sucks about having classes an hour away. 1) my mother doesn't give a shit about being late or making someone late to anything, no matter how important. 2) class starts at 9, so we leave at 7:30, so i get up at 6:30, so it's dark&there's no light in my room. stupid 50-year-old house. 3) my mother wouldn't make a trip to the school, so i've gotta be early wednesday morning to get my books&then find my classes. hmm...

organic cereal for breakfast with 1/2 a banana (i hate spelling banana. i always put an extra 'na' by accident). well, when V gets up. i don't eat when i don't have to. i'm not disciplined, just stubborn. &yes, there's a difference. i'm not a very disciplined child at all. i could blame that on my insane childhood, but if everybody used abuse as an excuse, nobody would get anywhere in this world. so it's all me. i can do things when i want to. especially if someone says no. i'm hoping i can lose all the weight i want without my dramatic friend getting me transferred to a loony bin, where i'd undoubtedly fit in better.

cramps are gone. goody, cause i want to run today.

i suppose i'll talk about boys for once. a particular one is annoying me. he's a buddy of mine, &i've told him a gazillion times that's all we'll be, but he still likes me. which is fine, but he's all protective&paranoid, &touchy. i'm not often a touchy person. i can take a hug but i like my space. also, he'll randomly ignore me completely for a week. no texts back or anything. then all of the sudden he wants to talk. really? text me back once in a while, asswipe. this is prolly why i'm single. no patience at all. most of my guy friends are cool with it. the ones that aren't, aren't my friends anymore, so it works. okay. quick boy talk over.

my stomach hurts. i didn't eat last night, so i slept on empty&i plan on staying empty as much as possible today. i'll eat a little, so i can say i ate (there's a guy i don't lie to, ever. &he always asks. i adopted him as my daddy cause he's like super old, he's a soldier). but other than that, i'll just keep telling myself how thin i'll be. or just look in the mirror. yuck. plenty of motivation. i'll post thinspo later. V just woke up&is staring at the screen from the other side of the room. boo for the computer being in my room. (i'll take that boo back later, i'm sure)

xoxo

zette

8:33pm

so tired. i hope i'm not getting sick. my throat hurts like hell, as does my stomach. awesome.

watching csi while i paint my nails. my fingers aren't fat, so i'm okay with this. haha 

question on my mind today, how thin is that line between beautiful&heart failure? fatter than we are, i hope.

thinspo for your dreams:

 

 

or:

never never never will we be the coat ladies. stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette