10:32pm

i don't know about you, but i need some thinspo to sleep on. i feel disgusting

aforementioned pitchas:

or:

yikes. when you're fat, there is no such thing as a little black dress for you.

stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

3:19pm

okay kids, thinspo is on its way. finished school around 11:15 but had to babysit. alsooo, i'm officially on spring break. anybody have exciting plans for the break? i don't. probably just parties.

so, thinspo as promised:

or:

yikes. step away from the refrigerator. unless you're getting water. then you get kudos. kudos&water, 2 for 1 special. go you.

xoxo

zette

7:23am

currently i am 2 pounds lighter. i'm pretty stoked about this.

also, i asked my madre 20 minutes ago if she could run to the store for tampons. right now she's still busy cooking breakfast. maybe if she were more considerate she'd be less of a fatass. rude&stereotypical, but i do not like my mother. she's never been a good friend, much less a good parent. she'll tell you a great sob story about raising 5 kids alone. but really she raised 4. i'm the youngest&since everyone moved out she dove into piano&never looked up to see what i'm up to. so mommy doesn't know who i am. it's convenient. i like it this way but i do not like her as a person. kapeesh? selfish selfish selfish. aren't we all?

weekend retreat 26th-28th. on a beach. i know my friends&no matter how cold it ends up being, we will be in the water. in swimsuits. have i explained to you how awful i look in my bikini? tshirt&shorts, thank you very much. i'm nervous. crazy nervous. i wrote a 2 1/2 page essay last night&came close to writing about self perception all over again to talk about what a fatass i am. but i didn't. i stuck to the story. it's about interracial relationships.

did i mention i've been reading as many ana (or anaish) books as possible? i last got 7 from the library, 2 were on marine biology so my mom wouldn't ask about the others. if she does, it's for a school project. shabam, what a totally fucking original lie, right? haha.

because i'm avoiding the shit i don't want to deal with, i'm in a good mood. had a bowl of bran flakes with 1/4 banana in it. lunch will be apple sauce&a couple animal crackers. dinner will be olives&saltines. tons of water in between. i'll be posting comments later, but i have been reading your blogs. i only post when i have something i'd like to say, mind you. kapeesh? sorry. i like the word. my favorite word is coyote. (pronounced the best way 'ky-oh-tee'). my second favorite is shabam, then bungalow, then yet, then kapeesh. i like words. i'm getting off before i say anything more idiotic than that.

i'll post thinspo when i'm out of school. until then, stay strong, lovelies. you guys are the best for holding me up when i fall on my ass.

xoxo

zette

12:58pm

well i'm about to go running but i thought i'd say hello first. i've been doing fine, but losing zero weight so it's time to change up the calories a bit. i hate this part. but i hope it works. i need to lose weight. badly. hope you guys are doing well. the weather here is fantastic. stoked that i live so close to the park.

oh&last night i came home, called surprise, &she just whined. my comforter was on the floor so i figured she was underneath it. but she wouldn't come. so i picked it up to find a hole in it. yes, my dog was inside my blanket. i barely quit laughing long enough to fish her out. i love surprise. best dog ever. (partly because she will eat almost anything for me)

thinspo for you (i can't help it, i want to have her legs):

or:

i cannot stress enough how important it is to me to not be the fat one.

anyways, stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

8:01am

i am so over this. well, that's a little lie. i wish i was over this. i was in tears last night staring at myself in the mirror. remind me not to do that. someone hugged me last night (i don't always appreciate huge much) &said they could feel my ribs in my back. well duh. if you can see them, you can prolly feel them. why do people point out things like that? am i supposed to confess everything &punch their card for saving me? i just woke up&i'm whiny already. whatever. so far all i've had is an animal cracker. i like animal crackers. alot. &it's only 120 cals for 16 of them, which fills me up. not alot going on nutritionally though....again, whatever.

thinspo for you crazy kids:

or:

chick on the left looks like the girl in my economics class today. can someone explain to me why she is so fucking small yet every time i see her she is eating something fatty in class? class is an hour so i don't think she could purge...or maybe she's naturally tiny&my ana eyes are overruling it. oh well. stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

9:14am

i suppose i should have mentioned last night that i absolutely adore my dramatic friend. that aside, you guys are the best for backing me up. i'm still mad&a little hurt. i just don't understand where her comment came from...? maybe i'm being immature but that's alright for now i think.

anyways, a glass of juice for breakfast, part of whatever my mom expects me to eat for lunch (the rest goes in the trash or to surprise), &i'll tell my mom i ate with a friend for dinner. i should be able to get away with this.

how are you guys doing? i've been trying to keep up with your blogs but i've been sort of zoning out lately due to tremendous decisions needing to be made. so what's new??

thinspo of course:

or:

why do celebrities think they can get away with being fat? it doesn't look good on anyone. it's a given that whatever the fuck she is wearing takes away from it, but only before you notice those beefy arms. nobody wants beefy arms. think thin, delicate, fragile. stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

8:43pm

so i was talking to my dramatic friend about how some of my buddies are completely obsessed with boys. sure, i guess that's important to them, but there's more going on the world than that. it's lame that that's all they ever talk about.

dramatic friend: Lol!! That's what MOST teen girls want to talk about

zette: well for SOME of us, other things are a little more important.

dramatic friend: Like what starving to death?!

what am i supposed to say to that? i could say what i want to, like "go fuck yourself' or 'i hope you die in your sleep'. but that wouldn't fix anything. so instead of replying, i ran to the bathroom&purged the popsicle i had for dinner. i feel a little better but her little comment just seemed unnecessary. fuck it.

hung out with my brother all day at my school cause i was going to ride home with him. we were there for 2 hours doing homework&then he played a million games of chess with some chess club people. (my brother is crazy smart. he makes me feel stupid). stale as it was, it was nice to do something different for a change. then we went to his house&watched tv. i love my brother.

thinspo for you lovely ladies:

or:

yikes. she's wearing heels&her legs still look like flubber's long lost mama.

well stay strong, lovelies. try on your bikini if you haven't already. always inspiring.

xoxo

zette