7:23am

currently i am 2 pounds lighter. i'm pretty stoked about this.

also, i asked my madre 20 minutes ago if she could run to the store for tampons. right now she's still busy cooking breakfast. maybe if she were more considerate she'd be less of a fatass. rude&stereotypical, but i do not like my mother. she's never been a good friend, much less a good parent. she'll tell you a great sob story about raising 5 kids alone. but really she raised 4. i'm the youngest&since everyone moved out she dove into piano&never looked up to see what i'm up to. so mommy doesn't know who i am. it's convenient. i like it this way but i do not like her as a person. kapeesh? selfish selfish selfish. aren't we all?

weekend retreat 26th-28th. on a beach. i know my friends&no matter how cold it ends up being, we will be in the water. in swimsuits. have i explained to you how awful i look in my bikini? tshirt&shorts, thank you very much. i'm nervous. crazy nervous. i wrote a 2 1/2 page essay last night&came close to writing about self perception all over again to talk about what a fatass i am. but i didn't. i stuck to the story. it's about interracial relationships.

did i mention i've been reading as many ana (or anaish) books as possible? i last got 7 from the library, 2 were on marine biology so my mom wouldn't ask about the others. if she does, it's for a school project. shabam, what a totally fucking original lie, right? haha.

because i'm avoiding the shit i don't want to deal with, i'm in a good mood. had a bowl of bran flakes with 1/4 banana in it. lunch will be apple sauce&a couple animal crackers. dinner will be olives&saltines. tons of water in between. i'll be posting comments later, but i have been reading your blogs. i only post when i have something i'd like to say, mind you. kapeesh? sorry. i like the word. my favorite word is coyote. (pronounced the best way 'ky-oh-tee'). my second favorite is shabam, then bungalow, then yet, then kapeesh. i like words. i'm getting off before i say anything more idiotic than that.

i'll post thinspo when i'm out of school. until then, stay strong, lovelies. you guys are the best for holding me up when i fall on my ass.

xoxo

zette