1:45pm

hi kids. alot of you seem down. or frustrated. or something. cheer up, ladies. i know motivation comes in waves sometimes&that's a bummer but it'll be back. just do your best.

thinspo:

or:

okay so none of them are huge. but i like best the one on the left. excuse the dr. seussical rhyming. anyways, i've had 300 calories today&it's not even 2 yet. oops. water water water until dinner, which will have something to do with eggplant. stay strong, lovelies. i leave in 6 days. i'll miss you so pretty please email me.

xoxo

zette

p.s. your comments made me laugh yesterday. mental "or" category. iloveit.

4:03pm

well....nothing new. 7 days til i go to colorado. i don't think i'll post there (it'd suck if i got caught) but i'll be emailing. ilovezette@yahoo.com if you have anything at all to say.

thinspo:

 or:

oh boy. at least the thinny is the one wearing stripes&not mcfatty. some fat girls do that&it hurts my eyes.

xoxo

zette

8:04pm

so i've logged on like 10 times today&had nothing to say. so here's the 11th. i'll just spill. alrighty, so today at chikfila (not gonna lie, best fast food ever when allowed) had an event. dress up like a cow, get free food. so my oldest sister took me&my niece to get some lunch. it was fun. she was all dressed up&i put black eyeshadow on both our noses. we ate our food&then my sister&i played a word game while my niece made friends. it was fun. unfortunately, that took me over my calorie limit. so i'm going running tonight, pretty soon. it's raining, but i like running in the rain. also, my skinny sister (9 more days) left her epilator here. since pain has always been a release for me in a sort of morbid way, i've been using it. it hurts like fuck. but my legs will be smoothe. &it helps me calm down when i get stressed. noisy little thing though....anyways..thanks for all the comments, kids. you make me smile.

thinspo:

or:

i always try to post real girl thinspo but i couldn't help myself. you can have your cake&eat it too but you'll be huge huge huge. ohh forgot to tell you about my dream last night?? it was weird. but basically it was me&a few other girls&thinspo had become illegal, so we were smuggling&selling it. oh boy. cheers for thinspo being so readily available when my mind wanders. stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. to you email people, thanks for being as hard on me as i am on you.

9:26am

i feel like i'm moving in slow motion. i keep typing things backwards&walking to the other side of the house for...something? oh well. good morning, ladies&madzaq. blueberry morning, that is. a tiny tiny tiny serving of this blueberry cereal for breakfast. by tiny i mean a serving is 1 1/4 cup (huge, yes?) &i'm having 1/4 cup. go me. i think. also i can't find my midol&since it's that lovely time of the month i'm cramping. sometimes i do, sometimes i don't. it's a do month. awesome. nothing planned for the day. going to do some more algebra&maybe a load of laundry. oh, &finish this episode of pretty little liars. cause whatsherface has tiny arms&i like that. i want to have smaller arms. but that will happen as i do things like have 1/5 serving of cereal. i hope i can find something to make me feel better. i need to do double workouts again. my sister will be here in 10 days in all her 5'5" skinny glory. i love her but she makes me feel like a whale. bigger than a whale. like...i don't know, an island? i'm an island&she's just a tiny little person. i'll never forgive myself for letting her have smaller legs than i have. but i will have smaller legs than hers one day. this fat won't stay forever.i really wish i had more energy though..

thinspo:

or:

&here we see a fatty in her natural habitat, pretending she is not huge compared to her friend. maybe if she didn't eat twice as much as her friend she wouldn't have to pretend. stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. i keep forgetting to answer this question. i get my thinspo through google images. i find a good thinspo xanga&pick a few pictures from one of their posts from like a year ago. oldies but goodies.

12:57pm

my sister will be here to take me to colorado in just 12 days. i'm huge. i'm frustrated. i'm sober. i'm tired. i'm stupid. it's going to be a long day for me.

thinspo:

or:

legs, legs, legs. to be fair, the 3rd picture needs to be cropped to lose the girl on the left. anyways, the reverse is the same as always. chances are those girls are that size naturally. we aren't. that's fine. just means we have to work harder at it&we will. at least i will. you will too, right?? stay strong, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

8:49pm

oops. didn't mean to disappear on you guys. my (alcoholic) sister came into town to visit so i was with my family all weekend. it was interesting. friday my sister got a 6pack&2 cans of beer. by friday night she had a can&2 beers left. drunk people are great when i'm drunk too. but when everyone else is just chillin it's not cool for one person to be stumbling around. &who got stuck babysitting her? yes, the youngest person there. i didn't appreciate it. functioning alcoholics aren't even entertaining. they're just loud&repetitive. she's also the most affectionate&emotional out of the 5 kids in my family&even more so when she drinks. so lots of hugs& "are you okay?'s"&crying over whatever. but saturday was fun. hung out with my awesome niece&went swimming. sunday was fine. hung out with the alcoholic (don't get me wrong, i love her plenty, she just annoys the hell out of me)&then we went to my oldest sister's husband's family farm for food&fireworks. yes, food. cause you can't hang out without eating, right? ugh. i had salad, 1 piece of brisket, watermelon, &sorbet. not great but i stuck to tiny portions. &nobody noticed cause i helped chase around all the little kids. maybe i burned off the calories? doesn't really matter cause i did 150 crunches before bed just to make sure. today i've had half a cliff bar (120) &sugar snap peas&a salad. salsa&a few chips, too, around 500 total today. boo. enough rambling, i suppose. well that&i just woke up from a nap so my everything skills suck until further notice.

thinspo:

or:

comparison of legs. yikes.

xoxo

zette

10:00am

good morning, little ladies. morning for me anyway. sugar snap peas&a 0 calorie flavored water. good breakfast. lunch will be very similar. maybe spinach. i think i'm caught up on your blogs but half of you aren't posting. i went through my list&took off the people who haven't posted in 3 months or more who didn't post a reason for the absence. not being harsh, just getting rid of clutter. not much to say today. just thought i'd hop on&post some thinspo.

oh, i painted part of a wall in my room last night. a drab grey color. it's dry now&i think i like it. it's been a year since my mother announced to me that we were moving in with her fuckbuddy. &it's been about 8 months since he got sick of us&moved out. so he took all his stuff&we took up paying all the rent. works for me. he was a nasty old man anyways. he's a photographer. most of his picture are of topless women. apparently that's art. i remember once when i was much younger i was riding my bike in our neighborhood. i some kid smacked into me&i busted my lip. lips bleed alot so i flipped out. ran all the way home but nobody was there so i ran across the street to the fuckbuddy's house. banged on the door. no response, so i went around the house to the fuckbuddy's window&banged on it&yelled for a few minutes until my mother answered the door in a sheet. great parenting. at least my childhood wasn't boring. was there a point to this...oh, i was just going to say i'm finally getting around to decorating my room. cheers for a little summer project. in other news, my sister told me to pack light (easy, i'll just use all her stuff) for colorado. basically i'll bring an empty suitcase&we'll go to all the thrift stores up there. this means i have to lose weight. always, but especially so before i see my sister. or rather before she sees me. yikes. i'm going to need you guys for real.

thinspo:

 or:

 the girl on the right is average, or "thinish". but next to her chubster friend, she looks pretty good. so you can either show some discipline&fight the fat away, or propose to never be near a thin person again. stay strong, lovelies. alot of you are doing well&i'm so so so proud of you.

xoxo

zette