7:47am

slept on the couch last night so i wouldn't have to make my bed. ultimate laziness. but my mother just woke me up making her "green drink" as she calls it. it's a bunch of spinach&apple juice&fruit all blended together. it comes out more brown than green. sounds like a good healthy breakfast right? well sure. but then my mother also has eggs with tons of cheese&veggies, &then usually toast with something on it. &then she complains about her weight. 240 or something? wow mother. control yourself.

umm okay cause you guys are awesome i'm making my font small again, in case you couldn't tell. for those of you with vision problems you should know how to zoom in by now. just press control-plus on your keyboard until it's big enough. (Ctrl +) but i think i will post a little more of what i eat. i'm fine with that. no this doesn't mean you have escaped my nonsense ramblings. just means you get a peek at my food journal. yesterday's total was 450 cause i had 6 raw green beans&6 snow pea pods&12 wheat thins. &yes i like that 6&12 are divisible by 3&then i had 3 different things on my plate. actually in my bowl. why did i use a bowl? silly me. no breakfast yet. i might just fast today, my mother will be working all day so i can get away with it. &i have the best ana buddy ever so i can do it. cheers for fasting.

 anyhow, i have an economics test tomorrow morning over chapters 1-14. this class got confusing to me around chapter 3. i'm screwed. my mother is going to murder me. i'm going to be studying all day anyways just in case something clicks&i can suddenly remember what i've learned. if god refused to make me smart then why did he have to make all my siblings smart? comparatively, i'm the worst everything in my family. my brother is going to be an electrical engineer. my sister will be a nurse. my other sister is a stay-at-home mom but she could do anything she wanted even so. my other sister is a part time alcoholic&artist, going to school to be a nurse. &then there's zette. zette who failed algebra freshman year with a 58 even with a great teacher. zette who doesn't know how to fix computers or people. zette who is going to fail her economics test tomorrow. silly little stupid little sullen little zette. but it's zette who is fasting today.

colorful thinspo:

 or:

the ongoing battle between skinny&curvy. guys like curvy, girls like skinny. unless you feel the need to base your goals on what a guy wants, starve on. go to google images&type in "curvy". you get one model&a bunch of fat chicks. people used to tell me how curvy i am. my mother told me a couple of nights ago how curvy i am. we were shopping. i was disgusted. i put down the little dress i was going to try on&i bought a hoodie instead...to hide my curves. thanks mother, for reminding me.

xoxo

zette