waiting for V to get home from work. going with her to work tomorrow, to sit at starbucks&go shopping, it's only a 4 hour shift. then we're going to her coworker's baby shower. yuck.
i've behaved myself okay today. purge purge purge. plus 100 pushups to remind myself not to eat next time.
eating habits. just thinking about them. little things, like the way fatasses get the next bite to their lips before they even finish chewing. &the way small bites seem a waste of time. it's gross. not ladylike at all. (i say this sitting crisscross applesauce in athletic shorts&a huge tshirt. i'm just SO girly.)
anyhow, working on keeping my days below 1000 calories. once i've got that normal, i can go down to 700&then 500. nervous about hiding it though. yikes. but no worries. i can do it.
elyse sewell is so small...thinspo for your dreams:
or:
gross. just sleep on an empty stomach. that's all ana would ask tonight.
xoxo
zette
Interesting that you use pushups as punishment - wow that's a lot of them! Hang in there.
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