10:09pm

my one wish? an apple. but it's not allowed. i want these fucking braces off. the only good thing about having them is that i have plenty of excuses. my braces feel tighter, my jaw hurts, i have cuts on my tongue, i cut my cheek on a bracket, i don't have a toothbrush&floss with me, etc. most of them work every time. fortunately, alot of my buddies think i just don't like to eat in front of people so they don't always bug m about it. but other than that, my mom is more observant now than she has been in my whole life. when i was a kid, (i say this like i'm not a kid anymore) i climbed up on the banister at the library in dallas&walked on it. fall to the left, about 3 feet. fall to the right, i'd beat the elevator to the first floor. somebody else brought me to my mother. but now she's noticing oh-so-innocently everything i eat. seriously? she wants to be my parent now that i'm grown up. it's a big difference from when i was 12-15years old when i was home about 10 hours a day. i miss that.

wow, i'm whiny today. sorry. wrote my essay. it's on a story by lucy grealy, who had cancer in her jaw so she had to deal with a fucked up face her whole life. cuhrayzee. so the essay was on self perception&all that. sheesh.

thinspo for you guys:

or:

god. her enemy told her to pose, her friend told her to wear the disguising sunglasses.

swimsuit season is coming up quickly. too quickly, maybe. i'm stoked but nervous about how i look in a bikini. especially with all these scars. oh well.

stay strong, lovelies. you'll be tiny in no time.

xoxo

zette