home from school. offered to babysit my niece&nephew today at 3. i told my sister that my mom&i would visit my brother at the va hospital at 7. so what did she say next? "oh good then i'll have plenty of time to hang out with them". seriously? i didn't say i could babysit for 4 hours. i'm glad i'll be away this summer. then maybe she'll appreciate the free babysitting she gets all the time. sorry. she just annoys me sometimes.
economics quiz on friday&then a test online over the weekend. fuckfuckfuck. i suck at economics. &my english teacher said my last essay wasn't very good. there's no way i can make an A in the class now. how am i so stupid when the rest of my family is so intelligent? not very fair.
so i'm frustrated. &people keep calling me beautiful. at the last sleepover my friend put her hands around my waist (which is huge) &went on about how small i am. then someone else picked me up&went on about how i weigh nothing. why do people do that? when people say i have pretty eyes, i joke that they're the color of shit. cause they are. why so many comments about my body? or am i just noticing it cause it's what i focus on every minute of the day?
in conclusion, i'm frustrated cause i'm a fugly retarded whale of a girl in a world of pretty smart little girls.
thinspo:
or:
quod me nutrit me destruit. (that which nourishes me destroys me) we have to be small this summer. do you really want to spend another summer deciding how to cross your legs to hide the fat? or running around with shorts&a tank top over your bikini cause nobody wants to see that stomach? come on, ladies. we can do this. stay strong, lovelies. we're all in this together. you are so so so not alone.
xoxo
zette
p.s. apparently it won't let you email me from my profile on here? sorry about that. ilovezette@yahoo.com if you need anything.
I detest when people don't appreciate the things others do for them! Next time maybe just throw in a side comment of, "Oh, well, I have [insert random homework/prior commitment here] to do/go to, so I can only watch them for a few hours." Perhaps she'll get the idea after a while and realize that just because it's convenient for her, you're not going to put your life on hold.
ReplyDeleteAs for school work, don't stress it, darling :) Just ask your teacher how you could have improved your essay! I know I sound like a dork with all my lame half-assed advice, but it's in my nature to try and fix everything for the people around me.
Stay strong, love <3 When summer rolls around, the last thing on anyone's mind will be :cover that up," they'll be too busy going "Oh my god, she's beautiful,"
xoxox alisson
It sounds like your sister is kind of inconsiderate... but at least you will be away this summer! That's exciting! Where are you going?
ReplyDeleteI am sure you are doing great and will look great this summer!
i love the comments you always add at the end of the thinspo. most inspirational of all:)
ReplyDeletethinkthinx
haha i love the reverse thinspo you always do. it's great.
ReplyDeleteeven if you don't see it, you probably are beautiful, we can never see that in ourselves. hell, i haven't heard any "wow you're so little, so thin!" comments since i was like 100 lbs, so it's got to count for something for you, i think.
and yes. we are all in this together and can do it.
love&luck,
anastasia kirstyn